Untold Story

It was October, and all the leaves start falling,

the air is getting colder and we stay up late,

twenty four times sixty, twelve weeks of all,

a tiny innocent seed of pea grows in the yard

A hastiness, a gratefulness, a happiness

A moment where I can, you can smile everyday,
struggling with so much storm, tiresome and boredom,
but they don't, they don't feel so and nothing at all,
What is so wrong? I don't know, it feels like a fun but also wrong
A sweet scene of the air, comfy, togetherness, but in addiction

There is a story book, which I adore the most in my life,
There is an old story under the sunny heating day,
red towers, large yard, like an eastern kingdom,
a place where secondly we visit, and also for the last,
something which is undefined and untold, shouldn't be ever 
Second page of the story line, which I enjoy and entertained with,
being always together anywhere, like there is nowhere,
it's funny, you can cover up what I can't, so do I, it's funny,
fill up, cover up, supporting, assisting, backing, helping, knowing,
what else? Nope... we have done, it's over soon

I have seen the last page of the book, I know it will be burnt
on the last page, there will be a rage, anger, sadness, fight
a never ending story like a cinderella or paupers,
A disappointment has been written, well written with guilty
That is bad, I really dislike it, so I retreat and make a new page

I throw the last page up, so I draw a scene, a real drama,
with tears, sweat, sadness, half-hearted and also happiness
like an injection which let you sleep, calm down forever
So it won't be morally wrong, it will be a happy ending
for them, yes for the sake of others .......... and me too......

Eternally morally smiling while looking on the last page,
I know what we did before and where we been,
but just put it in the box and let it go,
Promising this will be an untold story forever.

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Happy greetings of December!

2015, 2015, 2015...

Seriously this year will end soon. this week I am going to have my another final exam, and I will go back to my home town soon too. Time walks unbelievably quick. What did I do in this year? I have no idea.. Frankly speaking there are too much stories to be told, too much sugar in a cup of tea. Today I am going to have some flash back what I have done.

In the middle of July-August I got a chance to represent Indonesia and my university, UNPAR as a delegation into SEED (Social Enteprise for Economic Development) project, it is an ASEAN learning network which collaborate international students around the world especially ASEAN. I learnt lot of things here, too much, until it really changes my perspective on people. We spent around 15 days in Phillipines, with different friends. I mingle with Japanese, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Chinese, Sweden, etc. My best moment is visiting Bauko, Moutain Province, making bond towards the people and to create a plan to help their daily lives. I learnt how to harvest vegetables, farming, cooking, communicating, understanding, we even learnt the technology of how people water their plants. There are new things I have ever seen, just how they use mountain water spring to water their crops, picking best soil and so on. We also learn people's culture, they have three religons, Roman Catholic, Angelican and free-believers. I really enjoyed this place, every time we visit Sitio of Binaka, there was a child who always waited for our comings. So there was a funny story, when I arrived he was very shy, but when the last day we have to back, he was so sad. He gave me a bouquet of fresh lilies, well-picked flowers, and sprayed the water to my face with some lilies. At that time I was so shocked, I thought he was joking on me, so I tickled his tummy and he ran away, then my local friend told me when we were leaving, it was a blessing, a goodbye blessing for me. I was so upset, so truthfully he knew we wouldn't be back anymore, that is why he did so. Our guide also told us, that kid cried aloud after we left. I hope someday I can visit them back... Hopefully..  :)

I also have two best friends, my best room mate Ayako from Japan and Thu a beautiful and cute Vietnamese as my team mate. We also have 6 days trip in Manila, it is a nice and crowded city. I can't forget this chance, this is the best experience ever!

     
In the middle of the year, we also have an open recruitment for new freshmen into our debate community, so we have new members, new family. As usual, not all things come up clean, some new chosen-members have a conflict personally to me, but gratefully it is solved peacefully. We also participate in two competitions, one in Jakarta and last in Semarang. I really enjoy both moment, although we win and we lost, for me the cost is not the result, but the progress, all the debaters have turn to be great people and I am proud of them! They have turned to be kind, independent and patience.

Third, just like usual, spending my time in my debate organization, surprisingly attending Phillipines for International programs, studying well, liking people and mingle with many new friends are amazing. But for me, this year is so special, since I can watch people develop, from zero to hero, from nothing to something. I am so grateful with the members of our debate organization, either my  friends and my juniors, they change a lot! That part is so much tearing. When you can watch somebody who is not confident, shy, emotional, slow, and now they turn to be butterflies, beautifully well-built and amazing! We were participating 2 competition, one was in Ciputat and another was in Semarang. The first competition we won, the second we lost. Both really gave me thrilling result. Both gave the best effort. I hope next year they can teach the others :) Probably I do not give much things to them, either knowledge or support, because I am still learning, somehow I found difficulties in digging the material, and sometimes I still cannot fulfill what become their needs, so I really hope I can support them better in the future.

Last but not least, my lecturer told me, I have changed a lot. I don't really understand in which circumstances I did change. I feel like just the usual of myself. Have no idea about it. Sometimes I wonder why I have to be here.. No idea. on what reasons or whatever it is. So confusing......... lols~
Chambers are tiring, pressuring and making yourself being so so so so busy, but I enjoy it recently. Did I turn into a masochist? Wow, it worries me hahaha... Hopefully no.... Nowadays I feel like enjoying place with so many people, knowing lots of people. A deep contradiction of myself several years ago. It makes me "depends on" people's happiness....... when people feel happy, I feel so. When they feel sad, I feel so. I don't know whether it is good or not to be like this... Probably I have to find my real reaasons to be here. Somehow the answer is that........ I am addicted to the people inside of this community, every pieces of memories is so memorable, precious and entertaining, lols~

Getting back on my exam, I will write another things of my life later,
See ya

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