Other Does What You Do

I believe in the cycle of life, each of generation inherit genetically from generation before. But it is not only genes, but also behavior. I witness all those things several days ago... 

So I was bored and decided to visit a shopping mall, I took public transportation and ended up wrong one. I stopped closed to a market and looked around. An old granny with her granddaughter, a four years old cute girl was calling me "sister". 

"Sister, what is it?", she asked.

 I was startled but replying in the end, "it is Salak..."

Her eyes were turning bigger, never saw that fruit before. Yes, Salak is Salacca, a thorny palm with beige flesh, dark brown core and brown skin.

"Granny, I want it!", she was running towards her Granny who was walking slowly behind.

That granny asked the seller and ended up buying two sacks of it. 

I was planning to take another public transportation, when it was halted, waiting for more passengers, I met them again. 

That girl was sat in front of me, same with the granny.

"Granny, I want to eat that thorny fruit!", she yelled cutely. 

With no hesitant, that granny opened the rucksack, took one Salacca.

That granny started peeling the Salacca for that impatient grand daughter. 

"Shruk...... Shrukk..........."

"Here it is...", replied the granny.

She was looking at me, offering some Salacca.

"Do you want this? It's sweet and fleshy..", said that smiling Granny.

"Thank youuu for offering me..", I refused politely as the car started moving.

They are so friendly, yes indeed. But that warmness turned bad several minutes later, that Granny threw the seed and skin of Salacca through the window, exactly beside me. 

"Plong!",  the sound of the seed which was bounced and  reflected by the window, missingly thrown.

I kept in silence, waiting for that Granny to feel sorry or may be apologizing. Nope.. it never happend. My mind was not wanting there, but I saw those tiny eyes, that girl who was eating in fun. I was worried, you know why? She would imitate what that Granny did before. 

Several minutes later, nothing happend, glad that she did not imitate that way. I was released, planning to rebuke that granny.

And that disaster popped up, she was finished eating that Salacca, playing with the seed and 1,2,3...... She threw it directly to the window. Too bad, her hand threw was so weak, and it hitted my knees. Yes it did.

I was annoyed, not by her doing, but the reason why she threw that, because just now her granny did the same. Yes, she was imitating that. 

I was planning to scold them, but I remained silent as they stopped and left the car. No apologize from the granny... not at all.

Now I realize why it is very difficult to teach kids nowadays, they absorb bad habit from their family, no matter how hard you teach them, if their dearly people do not learn, it will be just pointless to break that bad mindset. I really hope, families, especially grandparents really behave well in front of the grandchildren. 

It's sarcastic yet skeptical.... 

This nation won't change if just simply not to throw rubbish in public place is so difficult imlpied.  

 

Feeling so sad by encountering this moment............    

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Manusia

Manusia itu aneh tapi nyata,

Mereka itu mahluk yang sangat perasa,

Terkadang mereka sedih dan menangis,

Tekadang tertawa terbahak-bahak ria,

Gemuruh marah bergejolak membabi-buta,

Ia, mereka itu manusia, sensitif menggelitik.

 

Manusia itu kejam dan berdarah dingin,

Mereka itu pendendam, mengalir seperti air,

Dibakar api cemburu, didera ombak kedengkian,

Digulung kebingungan, dibalut kekecewaan,

Terkadang lepas seperti binatang buas penerkam,

membunuh, merampas, menyiksa, menyakiti.

 

Manusia itu pecinta damai, pemberi kasih sayang,

Mereka itu lemah lembut, sabar, sederhana,

Sangat apa adanya, frontal, lugas dan baik,

Menyenangkan, senyumnya murah, hangat, 

membagi segala apa yang ia rasakan selama ini,

mengajarkan cinta kepada mereka supaya diwartakan.

 

Manusia itu munafik, berpura-pura tidak ada apa-apa,

mencakar diri sendiri padahal tidak gatal-gatal,

mengenakan topeng bahagia padahal bersedih gundah,

Menari-nari bak ala profesional di atas penderitaan sendiri,

menyayat perih hati sendiri padahal sudah kronis,

menabur garam di atas borok berulat sambil tertawa.

 

Ya................... Itu aku...........

Si manusia yang selalu begitu

Kata manusia lain bodoh bukan main, tolol sekali

Kata manusia lain aku terlalu baik sampai tak tau diri

Kata manusia lain tengok dia, lempar batu, jangan seperti dia,

Aku manusia, kamu manusia, dia manusia, mereka manusia.

 

Kita itu manusia, kita bisa jadi apa saja dari huruf A sampai Z,

Manusia, tapi berbeda, manusia tapi tak sama, manusia yang lain,

tapi kita semestinya punya beberapa perlakuaan yang sama,

Hidup, dicintai, dikasihi, diajak bicara, makan, belajar,

Iya, aku memang manusia, dan aku butuh itu,

terlepas dari apapun sikapku sebagai manusia.

 

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Untold Story

It was October, and all the leaves start falling,

the air is getting colder and we stay up late,

twenty four times sixty, twelve weeks of all,

a tiny innocent seed of pea grows in the yard

A hastiness, a gratefulness, a happiness

A moment where I can, you can smile everyday,
struggling with so much storm, tiresome and boredom,
but they don't, they don't feel so and nothing at all,
What is so wrong? I don't know, it feels like a fun but also wrong
A sweet scene of the air, comfy, togetherness, but in addiction

There is a story book, which I adore the most in my life,
There is an old story under the sunny heating day,
red towers, large yard, like an eastern kingdom,
a place where secondly we visit, and also for the last,
something which is undefined and untold, shouldn't be ever 
Second page of the story line, which I enjoy and entertained with,
being always together anywhere, like there is nowhere,
it's funny, you can cover up what I can't, so do I, it's funny,
fill up, cover up, supporting, assisting, backing, helping, knowing,
what else? Nope... we have done, it's over soon

I have seen the last page of the book, I know it will be burnt
on the last page, there will be a rage, anger, sadness, fight
a never ending story like a cinderella or paupers,
A disappointment has been written, well written with guilty
That is bad, I really dislike it, so I retreat and make a new page

I throw the last page up, so I draw a scene, a real drama,
with tears, sweat, sadness, half-hearted and also happiness
like an injection which let you sleep, calm down forever
So it won't be morally wrong, it will be a happy ending
for them, yes for the sake of others .......... and me too......

Eternally morally smiling while looking on the last page,
I know what we did before and where we been,
but just put it in the box and let it go,
Promising this will be an untold story forever.

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Happy greetings of December!

2015, 2015, 2015...

Seriously this year will end soon. this week I am going to have my another final exam, and I will go back to my home town soon too. Time walks unbelievably quick. What did I do in this year? I have no idea.. Frankly speaking there are too much stories to be told, too much sugar in a cup of tea. Today I am going to have some flash back what I have done.

In the middle of July-August I got a chance to represent Indonesia and my university, UNPAR as a delegation into SEED (Social Enteprise for Economic Development) project, it is an ASEAN learning network which collaborate international students around the world especially ASEAN. I learnt lot of things here, too much, until it really changes my perspective on people. We spent around 15 days in Phillipines, with different friends. I mingle with Japanese, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Chinese, Sweden, etc. My best moment is visiting Bauko, Moutain Province, making bond towards the people and to create a plan to help their daily lives. I learnt how to harvest vegetables, farming, cooking, communicating, understanding, we even learnt the technology of how people water their plants. There are new things I have ever seen, just how they use mountain water spring to water their crops, picking best soil and so on. We also learn people's culture, they have three religons, Roman Catholic, Angelican and free-believers. I really enjoyed this place, every time we visit Sitio of Binaka, there was a child who always waited for our comings. So there was a funny story, when I arrived he was very shy, but when the last day we have to back, he was so sad. He gave me a bouquet of fresh lilies, well-picked flowers, and sprayed the water to my face with some lilies. At that time I was so shocked, I thought he was joking on me, so I tickled his tummy and he ran away, then my local friend told me when we were leaving, it was a blessing, a goodbye blessing for me. I was so upset, so truthfully he knew we wouldn't be back anymore, that is why he did so. Our guide also told us, that kid cried aloud after we left. I hope someday I can visit them back... Hopefully..  :)

I also have two best friends, my best room mate Ayako from Japan and Thu a beautiful and cute Vietnamese as my team mate. We also have 6 days trip in Manila, it is a nice and crowded city. I can't forget this chance, this is the best experience ever!

     
In the middle of the year, we also have an open recruitment for new freshmen into our debate community, so we have new members, new family. As usual, not all things come up clean, some new chosen-members have a conflict personally to me, but gratefully it is solved peacefully. We also participate in two competitions, one in Jakarta and last in Semarang. I really enjoy both moment, although we win and we lost, for me the cost is not the result, but the progress, all the debaters have turn to be great people and I am proud of them! They have turned to be kind, independent and patience.

Third, just like usual, spending my time in my debate organization, surprisingly attending Phillipines for International programs, studying well, liking people and mingle with many new friends are amazing. But for me, this year is so special, since I can watch people develop, from zero to hero, from nothing to something. I am so grateful with the members of our debate organization, either my  friends and my juniors, they change a lot! That part is so much tearing. When you can watch somebody who is not confident, shy, emotional, slow, and now they turn to be butterflies, beautifully well-built and amazing! We were participating 2 competition, one was in Ciputat and another was in Semarang. The first competition we won, the second we lost. Both really gave me thrilling result. Both gave the best effort. I hope next year they can teach the others :) Probably I do not give much things to them, either knowledge or support, because I am still learning, somehow I found difficulties in digging the material, and sometimes I still cannot fulfill what become their needs, so I really hope I can support them better in the future.

Last but not least, my lecturer told me, I have changed a lot. I don't really understand in which circumstances I did change. I feel like just the usual of myself. Have no idea about it. Sometimes I wonder why I have to be here.. No idea. on what reasons or whatever it is. So confusing......... lols~
Chambers are tiring, pressuring and making yourself being so so so so busy, but I enjoy it recently. Did I turn into a masochist? Wow, it worries me hahaha... Hopefully no.... Nowadays I feel like enjoying place with so many people, knowing lots of people. A deep contradiction of myself several years ago. It makes me "depends on" people's happiness....... when people feel happy, I feel so. When they feel sad, I feel so. I don't know whether it is good or not to be like this... Probably I have to find my real reaasons to be here. Somehow the answer is that........ I am addicted to the people inside of this community, every pieces of memories is so memorable, precious and entertaining, lols~

Getting back on my exam, I will write another things of my life later,
See ya

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What Are We? Everything of Nothing

The way we cross the road is not the same,

we used to be good friends and fun catcher,

we are the paper plane who flies anywhere,

We are anything which we want to smile of,

We are everything.

 

We run over the fire, it's tickling to be together,

We swim over the blue sea, it's comfy to be together,

We laugh and drunk in a night, it's crazy to be together,

We share from hair to toes, it's warm to be together,

You know we can start to be something.

 

But what we did turn into special and deep,

Sometimes it feels so wrong, like a big foul,

Every time you whisper feels like swirling sand,

I know, I know it is hard to take, every touch remains,

Nor we still are not something. 

 

What do you see from the hole of a straw?

Still my face even it is so small, still my eyes even it's big

We are searching for meaning dudes, we are not friends

We are more than that, in addiction of each other

We know we are everything.

 

Sadly the time flies so fast, it's time to cry,

today is my last day to be here, certainly I won't be back

it is the last path my feet will be here, my last chance

don't you want to say something? No, it's okay

Me too, to look at you is more than enough

We know we have been everything.

 

If I can meet you on another lap of time,

I will choose a place where I can meet you,

I will choose a place where you can watch me limitlessly,

I will choose a place where we can stay closer than this

You too, I know that is what you are sadding about

We know we can't be everything, we know.

 

As the time has passed, we are untouchable,

we interact less than before, we can only see and remember,

all the memories we have spent, a gold treasure in my heart,

also a deep cut of missing a shoulder to be slept on, 

to forget is the best medicine, a calming pill for both of us,

We are nothing outside, everything inside. 

Thank you for your love,

I am happy to be alive. 

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Lix, The Wind Chaser

Sister 2 Lix, The Wind Chaser

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Azrael, The Crimson Slayer

Sister 1: Azrael, The Crimson Slayer-Death Angel

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