Sunday, 15 April 2018

Dark Sides

You look so black and blue,
struggle to drink glasses of truth,
the night is still long and the sky is dull,
and the melancholy put you aside of the corner.

Your finger touch trembles and turns cold,
you said you feel a dark side and it swallows you,
not so easy and difficult like you sway nowhere,
getting inside a deep dark black hole.

even when I run to get you to the dark,
those eyes are never be the same anymore,
they are wicked, lonely and destructive,
in your smile you tell me to let you be yourself.

Couple times, thousand efforts and heats,
I want you to ride with me and make you believe,
it is not a right place for you and it is a lie,
but you push me hard and wipe my hopes.

Bad things never turn good,
but good things would be someday bad,
why is it a very ugly truth?
Isn't heart change people and give lights?
Isn't love can heal those scars and pains?

We have been there in a  quiet alley,
we sang a song and drunk under falling stars,
because you smile and we run on breezy night,
like that simple feeling make so paradise.

Now you say, you don't own me...........
let me be myself, I live my life you say,
I can only stare and keep saying no,
while the dark side always ease you.

Saturday, 17 March 2018

Part 2: My Military Diet Experience

Hi readers! As I promised before, I will review my last day of military diet. Respectively my weight is 61 kg now. as expected from short term diet, this diet can help you to lose weight quickly but still I can't guarantee this suits and sustains to everyone.

Just a little note from my military diet, this morning I just realize I am not on track to my food list. So I accidentally ate my green apple yesterday (happily?) which it should be for today breakfast. I missed one food for my breakfast so I cheat it with 5 more saltine crackers to fulfill the apple calories (which is around 76 calories). I also out of tomatoes for today dinner (just realize it and I feel so upset for not having strict track on last day, lols), I change the calorie as well into a slice of wheat bread which is around 67 calories. For the rest, I am quite on track. Here below I also count on every day calories for all the food. 

So, this is my revised version for the food list: 

DAY 1 : 1570 calories 
1 tomato
1 wheat bread 
2 tbsp peanut butter
1 cup of hot tea

1 can of plain tuna
1 wheat bread

250 gram of tofu
1/2 ounce of minced chicken
1 cup of green beans
2 tomatoes
1 small green apple
1 cup of strawberry ice cream

DAY 2: 1044 calories
1 omelette without oil
1 wheat bread
1 tomatoes

1 cup of yellow bean porridge
1 boiled egg
5 saltine crackers

1 can of chicken luncheon
1 broccoli
1 carrot
1 tomato
1 soy milk

DAY 3: 1063 calories
10 saltine crackers
3 tbsp peanut butter

1 boiled egg
1 wheat bread

1 can of plain tuna
1 wheat bread
1 soy milk 

I also analyse my food composition. This diet mostly is giving you 40% of carbohydrate, 30% fat and 20% protein for your three days meal. I guess for those who want to eat lots of things in a diet, this will help you a lot. 

Hope to see whether this is sustainable or not. 

wait for my next post okay! 

Friday, 16 March 2018

My Military Diet Experience

Dear readers, 
Every women on this earth of course wishes to have a perfect body. Well I am also one of them! But my routine does not really support me to exercise more. I only have weekend to have a run or jogging while on weekday I have to attend my class since morning to 6 pm. Usually in a day I only spend 20 minutes per day to walk around. Well personally I feel like it is not enough, I believe I have to maintain my health better.

Today my weigh is around 63 kg. I wish to lost around 5-10 kg especially in the thigh area (well even though we should understand none of the diets can smaller certain parts of your body anyway, still you have to exercise). I have been through in several types of diet (such as plain soup diet, potato diet, greens diet), but as predicted they are yo-yo diet (when you finish it, you will end up to see your weight get back to the first time before you have the diet in couple days). Besides that, these diets are pretty boring. I am bored of the same food for couple days. After some searching in google and testimonies, I find this military diet. Happily this diet requires various food I can enjoy!

I have been in military diet since yesterday, it needs 3 days and a week of discipline 1500 calories limitation. Here is what I eat for these 3 days:

1 tomato
1 wheat bread 
2 tbsp peanut butter
1 cup of hot tea

1 can of plain tuna
1 wheat bread

250 gram of tofu
1/2 ounce of minced chicken
1 cup of green beans
2 tomatoes
1 small green apple
1 cup of strawberry ice cream

1 omelette without oil
1 wheat bread
1 tomatoes

1 cup of yellow bean porridge
1 boiled egg
5 saltine crackers

1 can of chicken luncheon
1 broccoli
1 carrot
1 tomato
1 soy milk

5 saltine crackers
3 tbsp peanut butter
1 small apple

1 boiled egg
1 wheat bread

1 can of plain tuna
2 tomatoes
1 soy milk

The composition of the food is not exactly above. I mean you can change the food with military substitution, for example in the military diet it requires banana, since I dislike banana, I change it into tomato instead. Or if you are vegetarian, you can change all the lean meat into tofu (I did it in the first day because I am not into meat on that day). If you dislike saltine crackers, you can change it into rice crackers as well. You can change everything as long as it has same calories. 

yesterday I measured my food calories by counting all of them, so the result is around 1570 calories. I believe these food are designated for you to eat only around 1500 calories per day. This diet also prioritizes protein than carbohydrates and sugar.

For all the food, honestly I do the shopping in the same day. I spend around 187.000 rupiahs for all the food in these 3 days. so it is around 60 rupiahs per day food.  

Well today when I weigh on my body, it is around 61,5 kg. this result is usually highly expected in every diet, but hopefully it sustains for next couple days. 

I will tell you my next report tomorrow! ;) 

Wednesday, 14 March 2018

The Words

All those words which have been told before,
always remain in my heart and never get cold,
even these eyes can see none and these ears won't listen,
even this mind has gone and this body has no soul,
I will always put your words in the bottom of my heart.

sometimes words lie, sometimes words hurt,
what one says sometimes is not the truth,
sometimes words contradict with inside of our heart,
and words can differ from every single one's interpretation,
but you know, even wrong interpretation make things look worst,
we forgive, we understand, we smile and laugh each other with words,
then those old words turn to feel so warm as a youthful memories.

words are human existence as well as weakness,
because sometimes words are difficult to be spoken,
with words, sometimes we hide in the darkness, 
sometimes we use words to reveal the truth,
Essentially those words are both powerful and unforgettable.

I want you to know when I wake up somewhere later,
there are tons of sorry and goodbye I would like to say,
my dear, sorry for not accomplishing all those promises we had,
sorry for not being there in your most difficult time,
I know it breaks your heart and I am sorry we fight a lot.

meanwhile I wish you will be always happy and enjoy your life,
goodbye for our latest apart and let us see each other,
in another world with full of blooms and flower scent,
and at that time I will wait you in the entrance as your forever guide,
as your forever day, and end is always a new beginning.

no matter how complicated words are,
there are always words for everyone,
like a sunshine which resemble your ways,
with colorful light and reminds me your warm smile,
like a huge flower garden and evergreen deep inside me.

Do you know my favorite words from you?
It is when you say "I love you", and I tell you I love you too,
those words turn into a light and rushing in my blood,
a light which shines my path and lighten my sight,
those words give me a life, give me a faithful happiness, 
those words give me a shoulder to depend on
those words give me a meaning to keep going on.  

Because of those words,
even when I vanish to ashes,
and even I will no more coming back,
your words, your existence, your love,
will always be there in my heart. 

Saturday, 3 March 2018

Missing Old Friends

They are people who know me well,
because they never give me answers,
they give me shoulders to cry,
as well as laughter to cure my sadness,
I miss them so much with those games,
until I forget all the pains.

I wish I can keep get back to all of you,
so we can play and laugh harder,
without drama and any fights,
when we mock each other but nobody hurts,
sometimes we hate each other and we love it,
because here they teach me honesty and loyalty.

I love every scenarios we have,
we cry, we lie, we swear,we love, we scream,
we scold, we tell the truth, no matter what we say,
all of them are memorable and sweet,
gosh so truthfully tasty and heart-warming,
like nowhere I could meet all of again together.

If I have another opportunity to get alive again,
I want to meet you again........

Sunday, 17 December 2017

The Love On The Other Way

Dear my sweet being,
my dearly piece of missing heart,
my partner and my angel,
my happiness in light and dark, 
come closer and I will welcome you.

I wish you are coming home soon,
when you always bring my happiness,
either in a storm or a strike of lighting,
because you can guard and keep me safe,
while I sleep on your tender shoulder,
dreaming about peaceful and shine,
among this cruelty of world and harms.

dear my other lonely part,
I feel how clueless of our routes,
but I always pray to almighty God,
may the angel guides every steps you make,
since your birth and until today you are.

you are my destiny and I am waiting,
until the day you can lay down your head,
as I touch your hair and embrace your boredom,
and sing a kind of lullaby until you fall sleep,
until we meet in a dream where we can run together,
and sing and dance among the golden wheat.

I will put the crown on your head,
because you are and the only King in my life,
as I entitle my loyalty to you,
as I give everything to you and only,
forever for you and nobody can distance us. 

Until the day will come,
until those joyful delight approach,
I will wait and wait when the bridge shows up,
when the full moon meet the night sky,
when our steps are rushing and our eyes open,
we will meet and become one. 

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

The Ageless Dream

The moon is red and the air is bold,
she spends her time looking on the moon,
breathing the night air like the same day,
chasing someone's pavement,
the one and only she has in life.

She spent her youth and ages,
surrounding by her immortal look,
red lips, dark hair, pale skin and cheeks,
deep inside tortured by her eternity,
sometimes with tears sometimes pathetic laugh.

How long has it been?
A hundred or a thousand years,
from timeless journey to endless ways,
she saw every sides of humanity time to time,
thrilled, bored of and disgust of them.

One day she met this person,
a man with strong will and cares,
someone who can share her pain,
someone who she is seeking for of this entire life,
out of nowhere he was a gift of a spring time.

they spent the days with imperfection,
but all the things seemed flawless and fine,
like an utopia they lived happily after,
an ever dream which would never vanish,
then all the stories are well said and written.

But one day the man died of aging sickness,
they were different world and beings,
like she was punished with her sins,
she scattered among the fireflies,
with tireless tears and long wait.

She is always there on his grave,
praying countless words, days and decades,
longing for shorter wait and longer meet,
to die without reasons and feel,
with her ageless dream to be with him forever.