Thursday, 17 November 2016

Little Notes From Writer

Today was a tiring day...........
I got my class so late and I also have to clean up my room, when I was done with my work, I took a bath, having my late lunch and slept. I was slept for 20 minutes, suddenly there was someone knocked my door. Oh it was my friend's boyfriend who gave me box of books. Okay, I was soo soo sleepy, and when he asked me what are you doing? Me.... Sleep...... and I closed the door after he finished giving my books, then I returned to my sleep. 

Another knock came, and it was my friend who kept my box of books, she was moving to apartment and would like to say goodbye. suddenly I was astonished, she was crying in tears........... 
I was laughing and tried to comfort her... "Hey, we will meet in campus everyday... you act so cute lols...."

She was flooded on tears until she lost her words... couldn't stop her tears, made her cheeks pinkish and so funny.I guessed only hug could comfort her... :')

I hugged her firmly, and she looked happier......

Well, after that good bye, I realized she really enjoyed her stay here. Well, I am glad now she grew well, the first time I knew her, she was scared of butterflies, lizard, public speaking, she was spoiled, having crush with my debate partner (a burning desire to be with him who she finds very attractive and extremely special lols). 

She grows up to be more adult now... She got a boy friend with my debate partner (thanks to me and my team LOLS), she lives alone now which indicated she is independent right now. I hope she doesn't cry in my graduation. :D lols~ 


Monday, 31 October 2016

Woman Trafficking

Tears fall so hard,
From those reddish eyes,
Watered hair, 
Swollen cheeks,
Narrow chin,
Naked body,
Claws among skin,
Like a broken doll

perhaps beauty in art, 
Dully in playful fact,
Why did she feel so upset?
Treated like a wet trash over rain

Nobody can cheer her up
Nobody dares to do so
Until she was so weak 
Beaten up by sorrow
Raped by agonies
Slapped by cruelty

The world should be blamed
She whispered, she murmured
what is woman rights?
Or what is human rights?
A fantasy in a dream land
A so called "nitey" dreams
A joke dreams of centuries

Then she laughed with tears
Indifferent with all her emotions
Enjoying pain and torturement
Until the body fight should be over
My chance to escape won't last
No longer, no longer, forever

Work, dreams, lies, placement, 
naive, locked, love beds, stranger,
Tore up, touched, smashed, sucked, 
Forcement, hard, hurt, hot, grapped,
Can't escape, no, try, cannot, fragile,
Screamed, louder, nobody, monster,
Bited, bleed, banged, bruised, bastard.

Sadness, Slave, unfair, home, hatred,
Freedom, smacked, killed, dirty, blood,
money maker, insane, rebels, failed,
Imprisoned, dark, fears, cried, hopes,
Repeated, failed, repeated, failed, done
Again, again that moment again, again

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Little Note, From Me, To You, Far Away

The day turns colder here,
But I hope the heart is still warm
Mine is still bonded and bounded
because simply I carry your heart

No wonder everything turn different
Even five or twelve ticks time shows
Or ninety nine million miles far away
I still enjoy every little moment now on

There we two, unmitigated, happy in being
speaking little, perhaps less than a paragraph a day
Things which happens are simple, tiny and erasable
But only eyes and heart can speak within 
feels either it is enjoyable or dreadful

Nevertheless, I will always cheer you up
Every day how our fingers type and move
two words, three seconds, one touch
chain of words we compose as our power
to keep strong and care each other

of course it isn't easy and never be easier
love alters not with its brief days and weeks
it demands deep understanding and trust
A simply love seeker can't be this game
we are not betting, we are building

Do you remember what was your purpose?
To start over and over again no matter how boring it is
You know sometimes things are broken and bleed
But that's fine, you capture someone unlike the other
Things will always brand new and exciting.
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Recall of My Life

Hi readers, it has been a long time I haven't posted any update.
Recently I have been so busy with my mini-thesis. Time flies so fast, now I am an undergraduate student and hopefully next year I will be graduated. Such an exciting future, I really look forward of it!

Just now I have finished my chapter 3 of the thesis. It has been a tiring and long day..... I really wish a holiday or hang out, but my friends are busy nowadays with their proposal and I dislike to hang out alone :( So lonely~ But I think I have to bear on it since I slow down myself on my thesis, I have to catch the train.

Suddenly just now I was reminded by all my life time experience. I don't know sometimes I always imagine lots of things while doing some work. I recalled some incident in my life which ever put myself probably into almost dead. There were some I could remembered. First, when I was 2 years old, I was sleeping at my parents room, at that time there was a mass electricity construction in the town, all the town turned dark and my brother and I was was sleeping. My parents lighted up several candles while were searching for emergency light on down stair. I heard their echoes, they found the light and they blew up the candle and put the emergency light on the drawer, after that they went somewhere outside for something. When they got back, they were astonished because the candle was not well blew, it turned into fire and burnt the drawer nearby. The room was foggy, my brother and I did not realize it. it burnt tissues and other easily burnt items nearby. If my parents did not get home earlier, I don't think we were alive. 

Secondly, I crossed a road to my English course, I was so sleepy and dozed in the middle of street, a biker was so fast and suddenly stopped because he did not expect I was crossing. His bike was flew 2 meters up and he was falling back and the bike was in front my eyes, touched my knee. Luckily he tried to control it into right side and the bike stood well. I was so shocked at that time, people around the street was calling me. Glad that we were okay. I was scolded by the biker and felt very sorry at that time. He told me, "if you we crashed by the bike, I don't think you will be alive." After that I was rushing to the toilet and crying when I arrived in my course. LOLS, I feel so stupid.

Thirdly, when I was in high school, I had a team work in my friend's place. She was offering me to send me to her house by bike. I joined her and unexpectedly it was her first time to bike on the main street :') She was nervous, the bike was not stable, suddenly from behind us, two big container truck passed between us. The road was vibrating, my friend was nervous, she told me bluntly "win, I think we will fall down...". I just could not imagine if body was crushed by the two big truck. I did not know why, I kept so calm and I told her,.. "keep calm, slow down, we can make it." She was not listening I guessed and suddenly we moved to right side and my hair touched the truck. I fell like almost fall. I did not want to remember it again............ it was really really scary. My friend was speeding up at that time :'( glad that the truck slew down and we turned right at that time. Anw, the next week after that incident, my friend got a bike accident, I still remembered her cheek bone was cracked, glad that it was not a serious one................... She is OK now on, she is enrolling in a beautician class now in Jakarta.

Do you have same story? Just comment below if you have one :D
Let us recall some past time.  

Sunday, 11 September 2016

我们的声音 (Our Voice)

If we can spread the voice of the edge of the world,
Then what will the two of us to say each other?
Always be on my side,
we can be forever together,
No matter how far you are,
No matter how many years I have forgotten,
I will always wait for you.
always hoping you will come back,
Tell me another phrase of joke,
Makes me smile and feel you again. 
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Friday, 2 September 2016

Beauty Is A Pain: Doing My First Facial with DPCT (Deep Pore Cleaning Treatment)

Hi guys, hari ini Penulis mengunjungi Erha Clinic Bandung untuk perawatan wajah. So today I will have my first facial DPCT, feel so nervous actually. Ngomong-ngomong soal DPCT, tadinya aku takut banget mau facial, soalnya mukaku ga pernah diapa-apain selain pengobatan via krim dan obat minum aja. (to be honest, I got some pimples and oily face problem since I was 18), aku juga sudah berobat di Erha sejak 2014, dan kebetulan di Erha paling cocok (setelah gonta-ganti dokter wajah dan metode lainnya, I have went to Borromeus Hospital skin doctors, it didn’t work, aku juga pakai tea tree oil dan Body Shop, kalau ga pakek kambuh terus, aku juga pake obat konvensional kayak ekstrak belerang,dll, but well it doesn’t work well). 

Bulan lalu dokterku nyaranin untk DPCT aja, soalnya banyak komedo numpuk di hidung dan sedikit di jidat. Bulan ini baru memberanikan diri untuk DPCT, soalnya takut aja, banyak yang bilang facial itu sakit banget kan. Takut bekasan di muka juga sebenarnya kalau sembarangan. After getting a refferal letter from my doctor as recommendation, so I did it.

Apa fungsi DPCT? Siapa yang melakukan DPCT?
Fungsi DPCT itu basically untuk mengekstrak komedo dan membersihkan kulit-kulit mati dari wajah kita. Di Erha Clinic IP Bandung ada 2 jenis DPCT, ada normal dan signature, kalau normal basically hanya cleaning pore, kalau signature ada sekalian pengangkatan sel-sel kulit mati. Aku nyobain yang normal aja. Pertama-tama kita disuruh ganti atasan dengan kemben, supaya obat-obatan yang dioleskan ga merusak pakaian, habis itu pakai hair cap supaya rambut ga nempel-nempel. Setelah itu kita disuruh baring di kasur theraphy. Awalnya muka dibersihkan dengan sabun muka dan scrub oleh therapist, setelah itu di steam 15 menitan untuk membuka pori-pori wajah, jadi lebih mudah angkat komedonya. Setelah itu ada alat kyk sponge kasar gitu, kayaknya buat ngelap wajah supaya kering, barulah digunakan vacuum penyedot buat angkat komedo-komedo.
This is the worst part! Gak semua komedo kamu itu keangkat pas pake vacuum, ada yang sudah mengakar di wajah kamu pastinya, for real? Yes it is. Oleh karenanya akan ada metode manual oleh therapist untuk “mencongkel keluar” komedo dan sebum-sebum di wajah. Thereapistnya aku mention jadi Miss T aja yaaa. Miss T bukan dokter, tapi ahli facial, saya rasa ia dilatih untuk itu, but her action can be also as recommendation from your skin doctor here.

So what did she do in DPCT?
Awalnya Miss T akan pakai sarung tangan. Terus Miss T akan ngasih liat alat congkel komedo yang steril masih terbungkus. Habis itu nutupin mata kita pakai kapas, biar ga kesilauan cahaya lampu.
 Miss T akan start dari kening, puji Tuhan keningku ga banyak si, Cuma ada tiga kali congkel. Tapi……… Ada satu part bagian kiri kening yang aku inget banget komedonya keliatan banget di wajah, I will call it “Blacky”. ternyata si komedo itu susah banget keluarnya, pas congkel bagian lain, aku ngerasa biasa-biasa aja, yah kayak ada yang nusuk ke kulit, tapi gak sakit-sakit banget, tapi pas Blacky, anjirrrrrrrrrrrrrrr serasa duniaku ancurr berkeping-keping, sumpah itu sakit banget!! Si Blacky bener-bener dalem dan nancep di kulitku. Miss T agak kesusahan waktu mau angkat Blacky, tapi Miss T usaha sampai puter badan untuk keluarin Blackie. Aku bener-bener mau nangis, itu sakitnya luar biasa. Miss T sadar kayaknya itu sakit, akhirnya dia sampai minta maaf, “mbak maaf yaa kalau sakit, ini sudah keluar”. Oke aku maklumi, oke lanjutin mbak kata aku. Setelah itu, Miss T mulai dari cleaning sebelah kiri, dari hidung ke pipi kiri. Di pipi oke aman, aku gak banyak sii komedo gitu di pipi, tapi pas ke area hidung, ternyata Blacky banyak banget, si Miss T terlalu semangat dan ngorek Blacky cepet banget, aku ngerti sii supaya sakitnya gak lama, tapi seriusan ituuu sakit banget, uda kayak ditusuk-tusuk jarum. Saking gak tahannya aku minta spare 10 detik ke Miss T, “mbak sakit, maaf, sebentar yaa 10 detik, saya nafas dulu”. Aku inget banget mataku itu udah berlinangan, sakit parah. Miss T lalu bilang “iaa mbak, kalau hidung emang sakit banget, saya pelan yaa”. Miss T lalu lanjutin ekstrak Blacky dan lebih pelan, ternyata pelan sakit juga, lebih lama pula, sama saja sakitnya. Terus Miss T ke area kanan dan ke dagu. Puji Tuhan gak terlalu lama, nyiksa di hidung aja.

Mukaku rasanya kayak panas banget, tapi Miss T cepet bersihin dan ngasih krim yang bikin dingin dan dipijet dengan alat khusus. Setelah itu, sesuai rekomendasi dokterku karena kulitku berminyak, Miss T beri serum oil control buat kurangin minyak di wajah. Terus didiemin 15 menitan dan dibersihkan.

Lalu diberi krim pendingin lagi, Itu menyelamatkan banget si dari rasa sakit. Terus setelah itu dibersihin dan diberi masker di mata, bibir dan wajah. Setelah 20 menit dibersihkan, Miss T lalu pijet punggung dan wajah juga setelah itu.

Setelah semua sudah bersih, Miss T suguhin teh panas dan ngasi tissue Erha khusus buat wajah berminyak gitu ke kita, disuruh pakek sebelum tidur dan aktivitas besoknya.

Overall, wajahku merah padam setelah itu, bintik-bintik, tapi itu emang hal wajar setelah DPCT. 
Anyway si Miss T juga ngasih liat hasil ekstrasi komedo, sumpah pengen muntah liatnya, 1 tisu full komedo, sebum, terus aku juga liat 1 Blacky yang ada di jidat yang super sakit, mau pingsan liatnya, kenapa ada benda kayak gitu di mukaku. Hikz……..

In conclusion, aku senang si dengan pelayanan Erha, Miss T nya ramah dan kerjanya profesional. Gak kasar, dan cekatan. Bagian yang masih radang jerawat gak kesentuh sama sekali, dan mukaku bersih banget setelah itu, walau merah padam. Sudah gak ada blacky lagi di hidung dan kening. Feel so clean and confidence. Harganya 295rb di bulan September 2016 aku datang, anyway kalian juga bisa reservasi dulu H-1 untuk DPCT, bisa based on rekomendasi dokter atau pun engga. Semoga besok mukanya sudah baikan, kata Miss T 2 hari kalau bisa jangan kena matahari, panas dan debu. I hope it gets well soon.

Jujur, aku juga gak mau ada Blacky lagi di wajah, gak mau DPCT lagi juga, sakit banget.

U know, beauty is painful, sudah gitu mahal pula. I will prefer to try my best untuk kontrol makanan dan kebersihan wajah lebih baik lagi supaya gak keulang begini.

Bagi teman-teman yang gak ada komedo, bersyukur yah kalian gak perlu ngejalanin treatment begini, ini penyiksaan. Jangan mau kayak aku, mencegah lebih baik oke.

Jujur, aku sedih sii dulu ga begitu concern sama wajah, sudah gitu 3 tahun terakhir sering tidur subuh begadang belajar dan lomba juga, sampai-sampai lupa sama wajah.

I hope I can have a better management after this treatment.

Hope it serves you a good information. ;) Thank you for reading.

Saturday, 27 August 2016

The Secrets Behind Your Face

Just a touch from your palms,
I can read all your honest mind,
Just a hug from your body,
I can feel all the lies you hide behind,
just a call from your intention,
I can sense all the pride and boredom.
All those secret can't be mention to me,
like toying with water guns and balls,
but you back stabbed on me all of sudden with knife.
How dare, how bold, how disgusting, how ironic..... 
Poor you, picking wrong dummy to be dumped for. 
Tell me your scheme along the days,
I want to know that cheap strategies you made,
Playing with my anxiety and worries,
Rolling on my insecurity, let me suffer up,
Chained up the neck, tied up on the hips,
What kind of pain do you seek for me?
I have warned you to stay away
Don't wait I get jealous bitches up
I tell you, I used to all pains and prosecution
You are wrong, hiding so much nasty lies
too smart to cast a magic, too young to be trickster,
my eyes are still aching and full of disbelief,
my lips can't stop spitting on the stupidity,
So you think you are high?  how far can you go?
Who do you think you are? a golden among straws?
Don't ask for a warfare, I am too fear of blood,
It's merciless and full of tears salvage. 
The secrets behind your face is nonsense,
Don't be hesitant, there will be a day we have remuneration.
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Your Judgement

You look into my eyes deep in displeasing way,
You judge me like those heathens with tons of despair,
All my friends are the same and none of your taste,
So what was the problem? You don't enjoy the ride with me.
Rejection, objection, refusal, all you did to me,
that watermark was described well on your face,
but you pretend nothing happened and judge me twice a day,
stay swallowing all your pride, abusing my position,
thinking I am an outsider, a lower class muddy peasant.
What you dislike is what I love the most in the mirror,
My freakishness plays wild and attracts everyone closer,
they will follow me, they will adore me, they will fall for me,
they miss me even I am in a hundred thousand miles away,
they do, they do, they hail, they hail, but will you do the same?
You have trust issue, this is for real and the matter is not a fantasy,
look at the skies, even the cloud laughs on my pathetic face,
why should I maintain this maggot nest among the chest?
tickling and biting every seconds, rotting my sense and feelings,
it's killing myself, to be judged by you with those abusive look.
Even I always beg for mercy, think positively and forgive,
none of those attempt suit your appetite, so I am the bad girl huh?
I tried to warn you so many times, those judgement will be a regret,
Everybody knows, everybody knows, you should love me better,
So nobody does the same, and that is just what you should do. 

There won't be rage, tears, harshness or trial,
that way does not suit me either, I reply you before too
as long as you don't owe me, I don't owe you, you said
Isn't it what you talk and hope from me since the beginning?
If I ask you to take my hand on the flame, you won't I bet

A slave, a slave, a secondary, a secondary,
People read the judgement, they write it on bible,
Are you gambling? You are gambling, you judge and gamble,
Awful awful, can't you see your face and self?
I won't tie you up my highness, 
until the day of your judgement comes  

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Tuesday, 2 August 2016

The Hanging Man

I have ever seen those eyes,
They were spacing out,
with emptiness and sadness.
To worry about crowd, 
To prefer being left behind,
sitting with darkness,
playing with sorrow.
Last time I saw them,
after that those eyes were closed,
sleeping in loneliness, cold and bold
everyone was astonished when you were gone
yes, when you were gone
at last it becomes a regret, 
a too late one to lend for a hand
That watermark of your face,
that sign of needing somebody,
to be cared and to be loved,
to be watched and to be understood.
Where have you been? you asked
If my life costed your awareness
I will do it, so I can be remembered
to be remembered as a tragedy
to be remembered as an agony
yeah, it is better than being forgotten
that is what you whisper to me
so dark, so helpless, so pathetic
yet you were laughing, yet you were smiling
at least you did it......... turning cold and lifeless
by hanging your neck
hovering in the center of the room
to end your sick life to a rest
seeking for peace, hugging an end...
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Wednesday, 18 May 2016

You and Pizza

It is nowhere to be told,
there will be a moment we meet,
it feels like a sudden knock at late night,
comes of nowhere, goes of somewhere
Confused, yes...
Amazed, yes.....
Startled, yes......
What else? Cute and stupid you said
On my humble view,
I feel like waiting for a pizza delivery
from north pole, and have been waiting for years 
I think all the prays and hopes are granted
It is a truly a gift and long order I wish for
So what pizza are you????
A supreme Hawaiian pizza, my favorite
with pineapples and shredded chicken
sweet, sour and less cheese, little spicy
comes up with a funny packaging, so rigid
A strong person, like the roots of mahogany 
As active as radar, liquid and critical, reliable
A passionate personality, like a running wind 
A thinker, a crabby, a story teller...........
I feel like looking on the mirror
a person who I used to be,  it looks like me
actually losing some of them because of a tragedy
I laugh, with a little bit of envy and a pinch of pity
Where did my old self go and hide at this time?
Now I realize, I start getting back to my old self
after I have been caged by so many years
suppressing all what I have, what I wish
I thought it has been buried for a long time
but I was wrong, it is definitely not......
What I wish from our circumstances now on,
I want to eat the pizza, finish it, until I know the real taste
every little pinch of it, so I can understand the real taste
So I can understand more, so I can revive to my old self
and never miss this chance, after a long wait you come
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Sunday, 14 February 2016

Other Does What You Do

I believe in the cycle of life, each of generation inherit genetically from generation before. But it is not only genes, but also behavior. I witness all those things several days ago... 
So I was bored and decided to visit a shopping mall, I took public transportation and ended up wrong one. I stopped closed to a market and looked around. An old granny with her granddaughter, a four years old cute girl was calling me "sister". 
"Sister, what is it?", she asked.
 I was startled but replying in the end, "it is Salak..."
Her eyes were turning bigger, never saw that fruit before. Yes, Salak is Salacca, a thorny palm with beige flesh, dark brown core and brown skin.
"Granny, I want it!", she was running towards her Granny who was walking slowly behind.
That granny asked the seller and ended up buying two sacks of it. 
I was planning to take another public transportation, when it was halted, waiting for more passengers, I met them again. 
That girl was sat in front of me, same with the granny.
"Granny, I want to eat that thorny fruit!", she yelled cutely. 
With no hesitant, that granny opened the rucksack, took one Salacca.
That granny started peeling the Salacca for that impatient grand daughter. 
"Shruk...... Shrukk..........."
"Here it is...", replied the granny.
She was looking at me, offering some Salacca.
"Do you want this? It's sweet and fleshy..", said that smiling Granny.
"Thank youuu for offering me..", I refused politely as the car started moving.
They are so friendly, yes indeed. But that warmness turned bad several minutes later, that Granny threw the seed and skin of Salacca through the window, exactly beside me. 
"Plong!",  the sound of the seed which was bounced and  reflected by the window, missingly thrown.
I kept in silence, waiting for that Granny to feel sorry or may be apologizing. Nope.. it never happend. My mind was not wanting there, but I saw those tiny eyes, that girl who was eating in fun. I was worried, you know why? She would imitate what that Granny did before. 
Several minutes later, nothing happend, glad that she did not imitate that way. I was released, planning to rebuke that granny.
And that disaster popped up, she was finished eating that Salacca, playing with the seed and 1,2,3...... She threw it directly to the window. Too bad, her hand threw was so weak, and it hitted my knees. Yes it did.
I was annoyed, not by her doing, but the reason why she threw that, because just now her granny did the same. Yes, she was imitating that. 
I was planning to scold them, but I remained silent as they stopped and left the car. No apologize from the granny... not at all.
Now I realize why it is very difficult to teach kids nowadays, they absorb bad habit from their family, no matter how hard you teach them, if their dearly people do not learn, it will be just pointless to break that bad mindset. I really hope, families, especially grandparents really behave well in front of the grandchildren. 
It's sarcastic yet skeptical.... 
This nation won't change if just simply not to throw rubbish in public place is so difficult imlpied.  
Feeling so sad by encountering this moment............    

Saturday, 6 February 2016


Manusia itu aneh tapi nyata,
Mereka itu mahluk yang sangat perasa,
Terkadang mereka sedih dan menangis,
Tekadang tertawa terbahak-bahak ria,
Gemuruh marah bergejolak membabi-buta,
Ia, mereka itu manusia, sensitif menggelitik.
Manusia itu kejam dan berdarah dingin,
Mereka itu pendendam, mengalir seperti air,
Dibakar api cemburu, didera ombak kedengkian,
Digulung kebingungan, dibalut kekecewaan,
Terkadang lepas seperti binatang buas penerkam,
membunuh, merampas, menyiksa, menyakiti.
Manusia itu pecinta damai, pemberi kasih sayang,
Mereka itu lemah lembut, sabar, sederhana,
Sangat apa adanya, frontal, lugas dan baik,
Menyenangkan, senyumnya murah, hangat, 
membagi segala apa yang ia rasakan selama ini,
mengajarkan cinta kepada mereka supaya diwartakan.
Manusia itu munafik, berpura-pura tidak ada apa-apa,
mencakar diri sendiri padahal tidak gatal-gatal,
mengenakan topeng bahagia padahal bersedih gundah,
Menari-nari bak ala profesional di atas penderitaan sendiri,
menyayat perih hati sendiri padahal sudah kronis,
menabur garam di atas borok berulat sambil tertawa.
Ya................... Itu aku...........
Si manusia yang selalu begitu
Kata manusia lain bodoh bukan main, tolol sekali
Kata manusia lain aku terlalu baik sampai tak tau diri
Kata manusia lain tengok dia, lempar batu, jangan seperti dia,
Aku manusia, kamu manusia, dia manusia, mereka manusia.
Kita itu manusia, kita bisa jadi apa saja dari huruf A sampai Z,
Manusia, tapi berbeda, manusia tapi tak sama, manusia yang lain,
tapi kita semestinya punya beberapa perlakuaan yang sama,
Hidup, dicintai, dikasihi, diajak bicara, makan, belajar,
Iya, aku memang manusia, dan aku butuh itu,
terlepas dari apapun sikapku sebagai manusia.
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